What it really means to GUARD YOUR HEART

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." - Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)

God really tugged on my heart to speak on this because it has been something I have struggled with over the past couple of months. If you're reading this, I bet you're asking, what does it really mean to guard your heart? Is there a difference between guarding your heart and closing yourself off to others completely? Does this apply to just women? Nikia, it’s hard. This cold cruel world we live in it is extremely difficult not to fall into the trap of comparison on social media and this sex-filled day and age.

What does it really mean to GUARD your HEART? To guard your heart means engaging in things that will pull you AWAY from God. Television, relationships, conversations, friendships, etc... It means choosing your friends wisely and cultivating godly friendships with accountability, encouragement, and FUN! It means choosing the "GOD thing" vs. the Good thing." because you realize how detrimental I could be if you don't. Most commonly we see this in relationships, let me just say that we are no longer bound or defenseless once we entered the kingdom of Christ. We are sound-minded individuals who should TRUST JESUS too much to give up. So, we don't just fall into the temptation that gives birth to sin.

I will share a personal testimony from my experience. As personal it is, I am not embarrassed because dating back to biblical times has fallen into lustfulness and hidden sins in the church, that they have either choose to sweep under the rug. The first experience I had with guarding my heart started last July, I took interest in a young man who was going to my church. I was a single woman and he was attractive. There's no harm in LOOKING right? WRONG!

I found myself almost instantly attracted to him and at the time I thought he was single, but the moment I found out I was extremely salty. However, time passed on and we would hug tightly and one Sunday he scooped me up from behind and held me like it was just only us in the church. That was red flag number ONE, but if I'm honest I liked the attention and he was just so fine right? Wrong!

It was right at that moment that I planted a sinful seed in my heart. That continued to grow, and it wasn't until six months later is when I realized how ridiculous, wrong, and absurd the whole situation was. Now most wouldn't look at it that bad, because we never texted, never where intimate, just flirted and shared stolen gazes but that does something to your spirit and if I wasn't convicted it could have possibly grown into more. Why do I say that? Because he clearly didn't have any self-control and he was too easy. In my opinion, if a man really valued his girlfriend, he wouldn't put himself in such a compromising position or awaken another woman’s heart. Unless he was a player or the "flirty-type." I say all this to say, I don't believe the flirty type, you CANNOT BE FLIRTING WITH OTHER WOMEN AND THINKING ITS OK." And the same goes for women if you make googly-eyes with another man, its disrespectful and signaling that that's not where you want to be.

 When you look at someone lustfully and began flirting with them. This goes for anyone single, married, etc. and this person doesn't belong to you, you have already wronged them. Matthew 5:28 tells us that "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart." This very scripture speaks volume and is proof we need to guard our heart against this. Before I got convicted, I honestly looked forward to seeing him at church, I didn't want to leave before speaking to him and I began to look for him. I should have known it was bad when I looked for his car in the parking lot. I didn't know I was falling deeper and deeper, and what once was a seed has grown into a baby tree. So, I started lusting after him and I was tempted. I never acted on this temptation though because logically this wouldn't have been a good look. It had gotten so bad, I was having consistent dreams about him. I was like. "LORD, HELP ME'! This is torture. LOL. But the truth is the enemy wasn't going to let up until I got tired of being in my mess, a mess that GOD had given me conviction on.

God gave me conviction about 2 months prior and I wasn't listening but was letting my flesh lead me into deception. I had asked GOD to give me confirmation that I was making the right decision to leave him alone. And he did by speaking through two men at my church. I had seen these men in my church, but they were at least 30 years my senior. They shared me with some godly wisdom. The first gentleman said, "You are a beautiful young lady and have an anointing all over you, but be weary of these men coming after you, it’s a distraction from the enemy." The second man told me blatantly "WHAT ALWAYS LOOKS GOOD ISNT ALWAYS GOOD FOR YOU." At that moment, I knew exactly what he meant. I left the church and my mind was blown! Now all that doesn't mean anything until you apply it.

 My dear brothers and sisters in Christ, please take heed of this testimony.

These situations are distractions and set up from the enemy. Remember "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out, so you can endure it." 1 Corinthians 10:13 (NIV)

As always, Be Encouraged!

With Love, Nikia A. Handy