Grieving Unmet Expectations

It's okay to grieve unmet expectations. For the past weeks, I have been trying to articulate how I feel saying goodbye to graduation, the city of my college, and a relationship. A relationship in which started off with good intentions but ended prematurely. As I reflect, I don't regret how the relationship ended because I respected myself enough to end the relationship. I had to constantly reinforce my boundaries and I was tired of it. If you have to constantly reinforce boundaries, the person clearly doesn't respect your boundaries. If someone is using manipulation to maneuver your boundaries and dictate the course of the relationship, then it is best to let go.

What started so innocent became unclear. If you cannot show up to the relationship being your whole self (boundaries and values) that relationship isn't for you. I have been pursuing purity for almost 5 years and it has become a lifestyle. In a romantic relationship, sex is completely off the table and I lost sight off the promise I made to myself and God. I quickly realized I cannot expect people to understand my relationship with God, when they don't pursue purity or God's plan for their lives.

The harsh reality of ending a relationship or friendship s painful and it takes grieving it to get through the emotional process. When you go from talking to person on the daily, having someone in your life whether they are a place holder or not. I am grieving a relationship and its hard and its painful. 

Recently, I started going back to therapy and I have reserved this part and hidden this part of myself. I am somewhat ashamed, and I feel like I harmed myself by letting him in -- emotionally. The two months have been an emotional roller coaster and I will address this in my graduation blog. 

There is strength in taking the time YOU need.

There is strength in leaving unfulfilling relationships that don't serve you.

There is power in leaving people who don't respect YOUR boundaries.

Love yourself enough to say goodbye to anything harmful to your growth.

It is OK to grieve unmet expectations: friendships, relationships, failed plans, and career goals.

With Love,

Nikia